*slams fist down on table* I JUST WANT ALL MY FRIENDS TO HAVE NICE HOME LIVES IS THAT TOO HARD TO ASK
friendzoning a boy like
*feels some kind of way*
I don’t want to go down with my ship. I want my ship to go down on each other.
great gatsby (2013): leonardo dicaprio is rich and screams at people
wolf of wallstreet (2013): leonardo dicaprio is rich and screams at people
django unchained (2012): leonardo dicaprio is rich and screams at people
can’t wait for the generation of grandmas with winged eyeliner
Glamour finally speaking my language
FICS BEFORE DICKS
One time I showed this guy my fanfiction and he said it was great
9 hours of studying and I can’t remember my own name but I can remember how to kill a man using a toothbrush so there’s that
the hell kind of classes are you taking?
I’m a forensic criminologist our slogan is “can’t run fast enough to be a serial killer so I’ll just help the police catch them”
there should be an avengers tv show but it should be filmed and executed like parks and rec
I feel this is very important.
It’s been apparent to me for a while that most men can’t really imagine “equality.” All they can imagine is having the existing power structure inverted.
I cannot decide whether this shows how unimaginative they are, or shows how aware they must be of what they do in order to so deeply fear having it turned on them.
Sometimes I like to imagine that Aphrodite creates demigod children by cutting off the testicles of their mortal father and throwing them in the ocean.
hanna freaking out when mona fainted
hanna getting into mona’s car
hanna and mona being spies
hanna and mona bonding over ali’s bullying
my favorite tidbit about rome is that in the mid-1800s one of the popes didnt like the statues in rome having dicks so he ordered them knocked off. fast forward to the last decade or so and art historians in conjunction with the vatican are trying to erm. restore. the statues. but the dicks were just. kept in a box. so art historians are going around rome, with a box of dicks, trying to match them up to their owner.
my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.
My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.
this is my favorite post on tumblr currently